Sticks And Stones May Break Your Bones, But Words Can Do More Damage

On Friday I read an article that has shaken me to the core (it can be found here in Afrikaans). It has had me thinking about it the whole weekend. The article was about a 12 year old girl that committed suicide because the “cool group” called her fat and ugly. Part of what has shaken me to the core is that this girl was in my community. She lived in my area, she went to one of the Afrikaans schools in my area, a school where I have friend’s kids going. She did karate at the Karate Academy in the area, the same Karate Academy that my “other child” goes to. This happened on my doorstep.

Last week Sharon at Blessed Baroness wrote about how kids were bullying two little girls at Tres Jolie. Bullying is happening and kids can be cruel, far worse than adults can be! I agree with what Sharon, “Parents, don’t raise your children to be assholes!” it is up to us to raise our kids right. It’s up to me to raise Ladybug right, to teach her to have respect for people no matter how they look, their background or even their race. It’s up to me to make sure that Ladybug doesn’t become the bully.

I can raise her to not become a bully, but what can I do to protect her? How do I protect her against the bullies of the world? I have seen it already. She is 3 and there are days she comes home very upset because her bestie didn’t want to play with her. She cries in the car because he said “No” when she wanted to play with him. Although this is not bullying, it shows me just how sensitive Ladybug is. Her love language is looking like Words of Affirmation, this means words mean so much more to her, both positive and negative. Words can do allot of damage in her little word, me moaning at her has more effect than a naughty corner or a hiding.  This only means that bullying words are going to do allot of damage later on in life.

So how do I protect her from this? Do I go to the extreme of homeschooling her to protect her from the “Cool Group” and their comments? But what good would this do her in the long term? This little girl that took her own life was in Grade 6, she hadn’t even got to high school yet, she had barely experienced life.

My thoughts go out to the family, and my thoughts go out to my friend’s children who had crossed paths with and knew this little girl.



6 thoughts on “Sticks And Stones May Break Your Bones, But Words Can Do More Damage

  1. The Blessed Barrenness says:

    This is my fear too.
    We’ve had some bullying issues with Ava in the past year and handled it as best we could within the parameters of the school but it’s heart breaking now and terrifying when they are emotional teenagers.
    But even worse… what happens if, in spite of our best efforts, she turns into a bully?

  2. Marija says:

    Your other child knew this girl very well as I did..from karate dojo.. she seemed a very happy girl very friendly always greeted me with a smile. Bullying is a horrible thing. Yes my child is turning 11 soon as is taller than me and stronger than me. Yet she is bullied at school because of her height and even because she is clever.. All I can say is talk to your child about bullying and what happens. Encourage them to stand up for what they believe in and do not keep quite about it

  3. Cassie says:

    My heart breaks for my other child. You doing a good job raising her my friend, she is a pretty amazing girl!

  4. Cassie says:

    That is a risk I think we all have to take. We can only hope they don’t turn into bullies, or that they use bullying as a defense mechanism for being bullied.

  5. catjuggles says:

    Gosh our kids are all at risk. This story really touched my heart. We have bully issues with L every once in a while just because he is a tad “different he seems to attract it. Up to now we have always been happy with the way the school has dealt with it.

  6. Gandad says:

    We had to face the the same problems with Uncle Panda who decided to dance at the age of 10. Fortunately the head at his school took to the idea that kids bullying him would have to undergo a very special detention taken by his dance teacher. Panda was going to join them and they would have to keep up with him. Surprisingly nobody took up the offer! When he went to a specialist dance school the kids weren’t the problem, the senior staff were. We threatened them with Court/Police action a couple of times sending them scurrying to their solicitors which quietened them down for long periods. When asked by a fellow pupil why his parents always got involved, he looked at them and asked “What? Don’t your parents love you enough to stand up for you?”

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