Letting Go Bit By Bit

I have always done everything with Ladybug, and I mean everything. If I couldn’t take her with me to something we didn’t go (with exception of work/school). I even took her to physio with me on more than one occasion. I have been called over-bearing, personally I think it’s a bit of Mommy Guilt and trying to compensate and being both Mommy and Daddy or maybe I could just be completely besotted with Ladybug *still*

I think in 18 months I had maybe 5 Mommy-Duty-Free occasions where I left her at home and I went to a function or went out. That was until I started running, I have now got to the point where I have a bit of (kill myself) time where I leave her at home while I go and die on the road, but truth be told not until she is sound asleep in dreamland, well most of the time.

Last night Grandma bathed Ladybug while I was frantically putting together the Santa Shoeboxes, another first because it meant that someone else helped me and I could carry on doing the things I was doing.

Next week is a BIG change for me, an exciting change, but also a change that has my anxiety levels sky high. From next week Friday I am not taking Ladybug to school in the mornings. This is huge for me because I have taken her to school every single morning since she started there at 8 weeks, but with my new job I start work at 07h00, and her school only opens at 07h00, Granddad will be doing the morning run! This does make my heart break a little, but in the long run it’s better for both of us.

In the last 2 months, I have been on a learning curve (again) in Mommyhood. Ive learnt that its ok to have some me time, even if it is to go do insane things like run. Ive learnt that its ok to let go a little, Ladybug still knows Im Mommy, she still knows I love her. Ive learnt that its ok to get help, to ask for help and to allow people to help even if it is just a bath, sitting with her when she eats or watching the monitor. Ive learnt that babysitting can be paid for with a packed of Jelly Beans or Liquorice Bullets, but that only when the Grandparentals because she makes up the shortfall in kisses and cuddles.

Yes, I might be over bearing but Ladybug must get used to it, it isn’t going to change anytime soon. The thought of me leaving her with a babysitter for me to go out for a night on the town… well that’s just not going to happen any time soon.

xoxo

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