Every day I keep learning with Ladybug, when I fell pregnant I re-enrolled that the University of Life with a different major this time – being Mom. Ladybug has taught me so many things, but the lesson she has taught me recently is one I think we tend to not think about as Adults.
Children have feelings too, they experience the same emotions we do, just because they can’t verbalise their emotions, doesn’t mean they don’t experience them.
Ladybug is a sensitive soul, I have seen this before and I have seen that it takes her a while to forgive and forget. She gets hurt; deeply it would seem and she feels things right to the very core of her soul. The past 18 days have been rough, they have been draining on me emotionally and while Im grieving, Grandma and Granddad are grieving too and so is Ladybug.
Ladybug went from sleeping through in her own big girl bed and only sneaking into my bed at 5am, to not sleeping through at all. Waking up and crying, not wanting to let me go and refusing to sleep unless I was in bed next to her. This resulted in me falling asleep in her bed at 18h00, and her then moving to my bed with me when I resurrected and relocated. While she sleeps in my bed she has to constantly touch me, be it her hand or her using my legs (or bum) as a pillow, her foot connecting with my leg… HARD (I have the bruises to prove it), there is always a part of her touching me.
Wednesdays have been bad days where she wakes up almost every 15 minutes sobbing her heart out with huge crocodile tears, because Wednesday was the days she saw her Great Granny and it didn’t help that there were freshly baked cookies in the house last week Wednesday.
Sometimes you have to know which battles to fight and this is not one of them I am going to enter into with her, she will come right on her own. I have seen her improve as the days have gone on, we are up to 2 hours alone in her bed WITHOUT me next to her, but if she wakes up and Im not there she has a complete melt down (like last night because I went to the loo … I swear Im going to invest in adult diapers because I can’t handle the Mommy going to the loo meltdowns!).
I think as Adults, we tend to forget that babies/toddlers/children are mini humans. They are built the same as we are; they have emotions already installed in their souls when they baking, but we forget this. We forget that they feel happiness, sadness, loss, anxiety, joy, sorrow, grief … you name it, they feel it, but they just can’t express it.