Terrible Two’s Survival Kit

 

Let me tell you right now, the terrible two’s don’t magically start when your child turns two… for some they start after two… for others, like Ladybug, they start LONG BEFORE they turn two! And for some lucky fortunate hated despised mothers they never experience the terrible twos – and for the record I don’t really like those Moms!

I have come up with a survival kit for the terrible twos and getting through them:
• A Bottle of Tequila (forget the salt and lemon, there is no time for that)
• A Bottle of Wine, or three (make sure you have at least one CLOSED bottle in stock)
• A Bottle Opener
• A Thick Skin – you will need this for when you are out
• Rescue Remedy – Both the drops and the kiddies tablets
• A 10 Pound Hammer
• A pillow – not for smothering your child, but for you to scream into
• A box of tissues
• A sense of humour
• A good Lawyer – for that moment that you need to enter a plea of temporary insanity

Ladybug has hit the terrible two tantrums in a BIG way. I thought Bride of Chucky was bad… but hell hath no fury like the complete melt downs we are having at the moment. Yesterday we had 5 complete meltdowns, none of which were valid reasons for a meltdown. One was because I took her coat off, another because I gave her her cup with juice in it, another because I (slightly) closed the door to the bathroom and another because I said Doc Mc Stuffins was on TV… and the other one I can’t remember the reason, but I think it’s because I told her we were going upstairs.

I really hope the terrible twos are over when she turns two, otherwise I will have to start drinking just to get through the threes (which my cousin lovingly informed me are worse than the twos!).

xoxo

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2 thoughts on “Terrible Two’s Survival Kit

  1. Sian says:

    We are entering the terrible twos too! I constantly find myself saying ‘No’ ‘Don’t do that’ or even sometimes ‘Please have mercy on your parents!!’ LOL

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