While on my quest to become a Super Hero, I decided to enter the world of dating… Yes dating as a single Mom. This proved to be quiet an interesting challenge to say the least. I also (re)entered the world of online dating, after all when does a single mom have spare time to go out to pubs, or goodness knows where to “pick up” guys. At least online I could sieve through all the ummmm well freaks out there and perhaps find someone worth meeting while in the comfort of my own home and covered in baby oopsie or even snot covering my once clean T-shirt.
There are some interesting characters out there, some just dont understand or grasp the concept of “I have a baby” or “Im a single mom”. The number of times I would be invited out at minute 99 to join a guy for drinks at such and such a pub was uncanny or even (and this is still my best) told to leave Ladybug at home and head up to the bush for a weekend. Its not like they didnt know I was a Single Mom, it clearly said on my profile “I have a beautiful daughter who is a non-negotiable part of my life, she is not an optional extra”…
Now for those guys that might read this blog and might be looking to date a single Mom, here are some things to consider:
- if a girl is a Mom, this means they have a kid(s), not a new fashion accessory that can just be left somewhere, they kind of permanent and not really going anywhere. Get used to it, it’s not going to change just for you.
- if they a Single Mom generally speaking, and I’m taking a stab in the dark here, there is no Baby Daddy living with them… So don’t ask about him, when the time is right and she feels you can be let in, you will be told the story until then, he’s an ex just like your ex… just don’t go there.
- if you going on a date with a Single Mom, be prepared to be within spitting distance of the house, so that if anything happens at home with the kid(s) she can drop you like a sack of hot potatoes and rush home to be a superhero.
- know that you will always come after the kid(s) in her life…. So when you messaging each other via BBM, Whatsapp, iMessage or iWhatever, and she doesn’t respond instantly, it generally means she is seeing to her first and true love – her kid(s), leave the message, she will get back to you.
- if she brushes you off because the kid(s) have a temperature or are not 100%, trust me, throwing a little temper tantrum about “avoiding you” is not really going to win Mom over, because chances are the kid(s) are sick and nothing is going to change that, she is more than likely holding hair back or covered in puke and that’s not really a sight you want a potential to see.
- if you do date a single Mom, chances are they don’t really want to leave their kid(s) at home with some complete random babysitter (well not when they still little at least), so your nice fancy expensive dinner restaurants or breakfast nooks will be replaced with Spur, Wimpy or kiddie friendly places preferably one with child minders so an adult conversation can be had.
- until the kid(s) are asleep Mom is first and foremost Mom, when they are asleep, Mom is usually exhausted and would love nothing better than putting her feet up with a cup of tea. Clubbing or dancing the night away is not even entering her mind, unless it’s Club Duvet and the dancing is that of hot male strippers giving private shows in her dreams.
But, every now and then there is a random knight in shining armour, who emails you and who you take the time to respond to. He understands that he’s not your top priority. He understands that you don’t look like a super model after a long day of sick kid(s). He understands that kiddie friendly restaurants are a set standard and the rare opportunity to go out without the kid(s) is just that a rare opportunity and treasured. He understands what it means to be a single Mom and he respects that about you. This knight in shining armour may even fall in love with you, and you may even fall in love with them. You live your happily ever after with a
zoo house full of kid(s), because he more than likely has kid(s) of his own.
This knight in shining armour does exist, trust me, we have a random fairy tale knight in our lives, but more about him at another time.